Relationships and Boundaries for the Upcoming Holiday Season
Setting boundaries can often feel uncomfortable or even wrong, especially when it involves those we love most. It’s a concept that’s not always taught to us growing up, so it can feel foreign or guilt-inducing. But here’s a powerful truth: the strongest boundaries we need are often with the people closest to us. Why? Because boundaries aren’t just about protecting ourselves—they’re about creating a healthy foundation for how others treat us, what they can expect from us, and ensuring our relationships remain thriving and respectful.
The holiday season is a beautiful time to connect with loved ones. Yet, it can also bring stress, overwhelm, and sometimes, unmet expectations—especially when multiple people are involved, and not everyone can or should be under the same roof. Sometimes, navigating these differences can feel defeating or lead to conflict. So, how do we set boundaries in a way that fosters connection rather than resentment?
Start with Yourself
The first step is understanding what you want and need. Clarify your boundaries around specific situations, whether it’s about visiting, time spent together, or traditions. For example, let’s meet Susie—she loves Christmas but also values her quiet family traditions. She has local family she’s close to and wants to spend Christmas Day at home with her spouse and children for a more low-key celebration. Her family, however, prefers to visit her at their house because they don’t want to travel.
Does this scenario sound familiar? Here’s how we might approach it:
Honor Your Needs and Values
In Susie’s case, it’s about honoring her desire to stay home on Christmas Day. If she feels comfortable and her spouse agrees, they can plan to spend Christmas at home, enjoying their family tradition and peace. At the same time, she can find a way to connect with her extended family without feeling like she’s breaking her boundary.
Create a Plan
Together, we’d work on a plan that meets everyone's needs. For instance, Susie and her family might host a late-day visit or plan a special meal to see her relatives another day. We’d focus on communication—practicing how she can share her boundary in a kind, clear, and confident way, reducing the chances of conflict or guilt.
Healthy Boundaries = Healthy Relationships
When you set boundaries with love and clarity, you’re actually strengthening your relationships. It reduces burnout, increases fulfillment, and fosters mutual respect. Over the years, I’ve helped many people establish boundaries with loved ones—without frustration or guilt—so they can enjoy the holidays more peacefully and authentically.
If this approach resonates with you, I invite you to schedule a consultation. Let’s prepare you for a holiday season where boundaries serve as a bridge, not a barrier, to connection and joy.
Remember: Boundaries aren’t about keeping people out—they’re about creating space for healthy, supportive relationships. And the holiday season is the perfect time to practice and strengthen them.
